Tag Archives: Laughter

Bradford City thrash Leeds UTD

Oh what a game – thank’s to Capital One and the free tickets Jacob won! This capture say’s it all!
City smash Leeds

How to make the best toasted sandwich

I was going to try keep this really as short as possible due to it being a post rather than page, but. Anyway, smoked bacon and cheese toasted sandwich made super simple with outstanding taste! Do read on, well, you better had or…

Smoked bacon 1
No need for an earlier photo, simply lay the smoked bacon on the bread, and double up those cheese slices.

Smoked bacon 2
Oh, usually we only ‘lube’ the outside of the bread, but this time I decided to butter both side’s, hmmm.

Smoked bacon 3
It ended up being so full the force required was hard work, especially after the use my left hand had been through that very day!

Smoked bacon 4
With my enhanced bass strength left hand it was quite easy, you were all thinking something else!? I’m right handed. And so I went to sit down on my backside shaped bed settee, well, the bed is tucked under and safe. Look, here is what I mean.

Bed settee.
Its really comfy, changed it around last week, loving the colours, just need a few more cushions, grapes and someone to feed me, prefer a lady but, I then heard lots of bubbling, that weren’t my insides! Damn what is that?

Smoked bacon 5
I fell upwards off my settee and through the steam and horrendous sounds of cheese in agony I noticed an orange come yellow substance pouring out of my toasted sandwich machine. It brought memories of ‘The Blob.’

Smoked bacon 6
It still had not stopped cooking, what do I do, erm, sod it…

Smoked bacon 7
Yes let the fucker finish cooking, gorgeous smells – bring on scratch and sniff phones. Oh, its hot, so was/is perfect body Marilyn Monroe ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Mr president’ I mean come on – did they? Oh, cooking. Chuck the sandwich onto a half wiped plate. Keep some bugs, they are good for us. Where am I, damn…

Smoked bacon 8
After putting a little mayonnaise on the ‘dish’ and a towel folded over your arm, make your way back to that settee.

Smoked bacon 9
Using a little mayonnaise slop it onto the bacon and cheese toasted sandwich, force that huge fork full into your mouth, savour it, hold on, savour it, chew a little more and send it down the hatch, brrrr…

Smoked bacon 10
As tempting as it looks, smells, and seems, erm, and tastes, do not lick the kitchen top, clean it when its gone hard. Can you see the smile???

How to make a very easy wind farm

Nothing really needs to be mentioned about this, the photo say’s it all? especially those tins with sausages!
Oh, they are also stacked at the rear…!

Know the correct time to wash up

It has been asked many times how I do so well in keeping my bills down? First of all, I joined The utility Warehouse and then actually joined the Utility Warehouse ‘family’ erm, though I have not managed to get anyone to join, yet. OK, maybe I might not be a salesman, but I know how to keep my bills low! Please follow this step by step guide on one of the ways to help keep your bills low – er! Check those banners on the erm, left!

Washing up 1
First of all, you need to make sure enough pretty naughty, er, dirty stuff has built up. In this case I had plenty of room on the kitchen top’s but ran out of plates, pans, pots, and the rest, otherwise…

I didn’t show the sink hole filling up, that could have been dangerous.

Washing up 2
I start with glass, then the sharp hunting equipment, followed by cups, small pottery, leading to bigger pottery with hard on shapes positioned on top.

Washing up 3
So, it really doesn’t mean shove everything where they might balance, its actually important to make sure everything can really fit into one. Where possible, and nice and easy, get it all up on top.

Washing up 2
As you slowly start to withdraw in the correct order, do take much care not to pull off anything underneath? Erm, what do you mean this looks like the building up to it photo, huh…

Washing up 4
As with most ‘clean’ folks, do ensure everything has been cleaned and wiped afterwards, this is essential due to potential spreading of, erm, still thinking.

Washing up 5
Erm yes, sink hole problems. Thank you for your time in viewing this very important arsticle.

Eat yourself, say’s Bob

I reckon if folks could eat themselves, then most of us would?! Robert Plant, a terrific moment captured by Lori Spencer. It really is not just the covering of that letter but the whole body posture!!!

How to eat a tin of encore shrimp and tuna cat food made easy

Does this really need much explaining? Because they were on offer, I accidently ended up ordering and purchasing cat food! The price was buy five for the price of three. I thought it was a bargain buy, though I did think they were tins of shrimp. Is Encore cat food fit for human consumption…

Cat food fit for a human?

Can’t believe I bought five tins of tuna and shrimp cat food, I honestly thought they were tins of shrimps.  Will give four tins to my neighbour, four tins you say? five are in the photo, well counted! Erm, I might try a tin and video it? urrggghhhh watch this space…

Cat food

The best profile for a dating agency

We, well, some of us have viewed the many advertisements that appear in dating agencies, like the lonely hearts and two’s company pages. Most ask for ‘Own House And Car’ which obviously is somewhat materialistic, ok for some but not the many? Today I wrote ‘Young looking dude, doesn’t own a car or home, skint, unhealthy, not desperate, would like to meet woman for marriage’ proper funny, only that I sent it to some work colleagues on the works internet, and then it went around the whole company ha. Mind you, some do not like it, but its only a little bit of fun, oh well…

… It reminds me from when I was in manufacturing management over in Burnley, we were owned by the French Snecma group. One of the managers loved to sing, abit on the Bing Crosby? style, I called Peter in his office and asked if he would give me a song, obviously he obliged. When he started singing I held my phone over the factory P.A. system, ha, what a laugh, he was singing to the whole factory! Mind you, I would say our team worked quite well, it could have got even better but, real life crashed in on me.

Hmmm, new meds

So, whats with these new meds, how do I take them? as an insult or helpful! Brufen Retard it is then.
Started on Friday evening, just one tablet for a week and see where we are, then if need be and in the second week up dosage to two, if no improvement after that it could be back to the dry marker board. One thing is for sure, I really can not take anymore time off work, lost over a months wage so far, yet since Saturday I have been burning up and off, we will we get there.

How to make a healthy sandwich made really cheap and easy

We know the score? Can not be bothered making a cheap yet decent healthy sandwich early Monday morning, its been a long lazy weekend, too many takeaways and booze – yet? ah ha, but some of us do – now and again, make a healthy sarny?! But when we don’t, we end up with a Marks & Spencer, or Boots, or Subway, or another ‘outlet’ expensive sandwich, but boy do they cost too much? So here we have a really cheap way of putting together a healthy yet cheap sandwich. Ingredients purchased can cover these sandwiches for about three days, for me the lettice type leafs can be soggy, really soggy, oh… Proper ingredients; turkey slices, red onion, crunchy mixed salad and cucumber, mixed bread caked with tons of butter.

Sandwich 1
Ok and here we missed me chopping up the ingredients, and as can be seen, placed on the turkey slices are the red onions, perfectly cut too thick – brilliant for that hangover, mixed crunchy salad, cucumber and a good squirt of, erm, its so hard to spell, not going to spell check and so, erm, mayonarse.

Sandwich 2
As can be seen the sandwich box appears too small, but believe me its a good size, I think the healthy sandwiches are filled too much, it can be done, four really can fit into one, that there plastic box.

Sandwich 3
Just look at that, perfect, took a little sitting on, you know, like when we have clothes that need to fit in the suitecase? that sounds like sweetcase? yes I mean suitcase now get off my back…!

Sandwich 4
It has not been mentioned but, I was asked how I perform this marvel, really! Sunday night, put them in the fridge, with the freezer thingy’s in the freezer, and next moaning (it’s Monday don’t forget!?) put the sandwich box on top of the frozen blue thing, make sure the sandwiches are still in the box, as when intoxicated they get eaten during the night – unsure by who?

Sandwich 5
Just look at how proper fresh they still are at 13:30 hrs, oh, its on the train home. For you guys the hangover will be so strong you will make an excuse to leave work early (not me silly, erm), yet those super healthy refreshing sandwiches do the trick – but the ticket lady caught me with my mouth full, I almost sprayed her with some crunched salad and mayonarse, yet thankfully it weren’t a cream pie…