“I’m so sorry but I’m just not ready for a relationship”… “I’m so sorry but I’ve decided to go back to the X-it’s best for the kids”… “I think I love you so it’s for the best I don’t see you again”… “I’ve been thinking all night-it’s not you it’s me”…
Do any of those quotes ring a thought? They are just a few texts’ I have received since 2003, yes texts, when I have decided not to meet up etc with a woman anymore, I have either phoned or called and seen her. The thing is-because those texts’ say “it’s not you it’s me” etc. They are indirectly pointing the blame at you; they are excuses as they dare not just be honest-so does that mean they are not honest folks?-Jury is out on that one.
Hmmm-relationships, is there a best way or such a thing to find our perfect partner-soul mate-twin flame… Over the last few years I’ve met women who have said they are not on the rebound and feel sorted, yet they send those excuses.
So many folks decide that it is best to jump from one mate to another without any form of break in between, I’ve heard, talked and read quotes-so many folks who don’t give any time between relationships on many occasions wake up in the age group 50-70 and think OMG what have I been doing, and on many occasions it’s too late?
Who’s to say this is correct though? You can look up on the net what seems to happen-If you have been in a deep relationship for over 5years then they recommend learning to be content by oneself for a minimum of 2 years? Lots of dating agencies say similar things, they ask how long you have been single-how did it finish? It’s also known on the net and dating agencies what the ‘turnover’ of available sex’s: age 30-40 women are out numbered about 4-1 by men, then through the 40s it starts to balance out 1-1 and finally 50+ it starts to turn-women outnumber men 4-1. A few reasons for this, lots of men leave for younger women and lots of single women in that 30s age group tend to look for older men…
But what is right or wrong, I also know of folks who left partners for someone else and it remains solid-one of the reasoning’s behind this is the fact that the partner who finally leaves does so as they have already lost any love and feelings for that partner and therefore find it easy to uproot and move on-leaving the stricken partner wondering what’s happening? My thoughts are that when love starts to ‘vanish’ then they should talk about it straight away and try to avoid hurt and damage.
My personal ‘events’ went, rebound-rebound-rebound-internet dating (and that is a hell of a story Oh yes!!!)-then trying to find that perfect woman–and finally forget women and concentrate on my work direction, music, home, obviously my sons… At the time in 2002 an old work colleague tried advising me to take stock and try be alone for 5 years, after 22 years marraige he did-5 years alone and feeling lonely, then he started on the dating scene, and on the 8 year mark met another woman and got married-I often quote him to my friends-who iv still got (you do find out who your truest of friends are through emotional trauma!!!) and folks I get chatting with, was his the correct way?
The one thing that I really think folks should do is just be honest-seemingly most cant? The quote of going back to the X for the Kids was amazingly bad-sent 1:45am; yes we tend to be good at remembering times and dates! What about being ‘set-up’ by folks who think they know us and expect to hit it off, Erm-yes iv also been set up on blind dates and it just didn’t work.
With divorce rates-in this Country-passing 60% for first time marraiges (and 90% for those who marry again within 2 years of divorcing), I mean, just maybe many folks who marry really are not connected-or are they and just cant live together, or simply not ready???
For me-I love music and performing, just maybe ‘she’ might appear at one of my events (when I get going again!!!), also cycling but at this time I don’t have mountain bikes for me or my boys, that should be corrected in 2010.
My hat goes off to those relationship-marriages that are very genuine and last through the many lows that life throws at us, yes I’m very jealous he he… For the folks who have never been through relationship trauma, they will try but never fully understand-why we who have been are like we are, damaged…
In the meantime I am to carry on with myself and ignore best possible those thoughts we get when we want to share something great-good or bad when arriving back home.
The motto for this chapter-after a long marriage/relationship I was never ready for another, shame as I met some lovely women.
Was those texts’ correct…