Early Life

Some Early life of what I remember, some in wrong order???

A pin stuck in my bum is my first thoughts of remembering what was early life, This pin was something my mum had stuck in me while fixing my nappy, I recently asked her about it, I remember being laid across her knee in the chair under the window and my dad was sat across the room.  She did not know till later about that pin as I didn’t cry-I remember a thought going through my mind that was kind of ‘that just isn’t correct’, I felt like an adult in a babies body-strange feeling.

My next memory was of being in my cot downstairs with my Nana stood at the window, then it was like my Grandma and then my mum, later I found out through my Grandma that I was very ill and keeping me downstairs and watching me around the clock was some kind of only option-eh? I haven’t a clue what was wrong with me but only that my Grandma mentioned everyone was worried for me-they seem to think because I was born only 16 months after my sister (brother is about 9 years older?) that I wasn’t full of the anti-bodies that babies are usually born with??? Hmmm.

I remember reaching out in Woolworths Shipley and loosing the hand, I was below knee height so maybe I was in the pushchair?, whose hand-it wasn’t my mums? But I know I was very very scared.  Also another thought on loosing pace with the walking and some man? Saying I should get the bus with him but she shouted at him and he left.

As mentioned these very early thoughts are abit brief and possibly not in correct order.  Sat on the stone by the side of the railway track with my Nan, she did always keep my hand but why not my mum? I always tried pulling her coat though ha.

These thoughts seem to be negative thoughts but very clear.  Next im at the first school not wanting to go but I knew if I held out for toy solders then I would get what I wanted-yes this school was “Little” Woodend first school and someone jabbing a stick in my ear, he had ginger hair… having the dinner lady without teeth force me to eat fish, this I did but stored it in my mouth till after dinner and then it was spat out.  Not being allowed to go to the toilet so peeing my pants ensured they would let me go in future.

Then the 2nd first school was Windhill church-and my first girlfriend yes it was Sharon S! ha and how she chased me… then I was in my 3rd first school Windhill C of E school.  This was brand new but I managed to flood it by blocking all sinks and turning the taps on full, sorry to the twins who got the blame!  This school I did my first piece of art-Teddy bear picnic, melted wax and pencils it was complete sheer excellence.  The school head asked if they could keep it on the office wall so I agreed.  Some years later it was returned but my parents binned it, thanks…

These early years was when I first discovered the fighting conflict and ’mental’ violence that appeared to be my family, my mum throw a knife at my brother but he shut the door just in time as that’s where the knife ended up.  Now looking back I know I was still lucky not to be in a proper abusive family, I believe my Grandma and Dearest Grandad had a lot to do with that, my grandad died in 2003 and I regret not going to see him but I feel sure he knew why?

I get taken to the middle school period of time now, again I did a work of art for them that went up in the office, I was very good with my hands-still he he.  I was getting older and witnessing some very harsh depressing fights in my family,  I decided to keep myself in the bedroom making models and building my train-set up ‘he is so quiet we don’t know we have him’, hell didn’t they understand how I hated the conflicts… my brother was in the navy and we used to go on hols down to his base etc. some amazing fights took place every time we went… every time on leave fights fights fights… it drove me absolutely bonkers-I still am lol!

Yes that middle school and the school year ’cock’? boy did he give me some stick until he was hammered with a nice wooden box in the chess class, he fell into a bin but I carried on, he never bothered me again, no one did apart from the French teacher, she was dreadful… I could not read or write very well in English never mind French-she once grabbed my hair and pulled me over the table dragging me around the class so I went home only to be collected by the school caretaker (yes he once lifted me up by my hair and swung me around).  My dad came back to school with me and force me to apologise to the head and teacher for all the trouble I was??? Eh…

My dad worked in a mill scouring company.  One day he decided to take me to that damn mill, I was a very young boy and should not have been there, I saw 2 rollers moving and wondered what would happen if some kind of hook got pushed through-your now guessing correct I got a curved hook and pushed it through having my fingers dragged through with it ’my fingers my fingers…’ he hit that stop button with my fingers stuck, how did I get them out? don’t know but I was sick shaking and cold and had  had some kind of life flash, my fingers looked a mess ’don’t tell your mother, tell her you tripped up’. cheers dad huh.

My fingers healed but my mind didn’t yes cheers dad huh.  Yes what if that button dint work or you couldn’t get to it…

Middle school still, I once got hold of a small photo ‘thing’ that you held up to the light and looked through, no it wasn’t holiday pics it was porn!!! I took it to school and charged for folks to have a look! But sat at the back of the class the student teacher saw me with it ‘Briggs bring that up here’, she put it in her draw and said pick it up at the end of school.  My 2 best friends who were brothers came to the class with me.  ‘come in Stuart, now what is it?’  well I told her it was the family holiday pics ha ha ha ha, ‘let me just have a look, now I don’t see any holiday pics do I, im going to keep it but you must not tell anyone’.  Well, she kept it and nothing was ever mentioned again, I bet she still has it and tells the same story!?

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