Tag Archives: How to

How to eliminate the UK debt

This is really easy!

Stop all conflict between parties, allow the £zillionaires to have two years to clear this mess, this will not cause that much of a dent in their wealth. After the two years the slate is clean, then, this is when the £zillionaires get their say, never borrow again and use what you have. The national tax funds per tax year is nearing one £trillion, therefore it needs a mixed panel? of folks to keep a check on government spending, this panel would be far better than the hideous House of Lords twats.

Simple, especially with the likes of the following…

Cunts

dodging-tax

Simply the best, breakfast sandwich!

Well, just view this in progress sandwich. How to make the biggest, best, fullest breakfast sarnie possible. Timing is crucial as it all needs to be hot, and the coffee just at the correct temperature as you work your way through the sandwhich. Feeling hungry, hmmm…

Firstly make a coffee, it can then be cooling during the mission of building the sandwich.
Breakie

Then the frying starts. With the onions carefully positioned, it is best to slice the sausages as they are easier to control for task of transferring to the bread.

Breakie 1

While the frying takes place stick the potato thingy’s into the oven. As can be seen they need to be on a tray and strategically placed to the oven middle, do use oven gloves or some of your skin will get stuck.

Breakie 2

Making sure the bread has had something spread on it, ensure the sausages get to the edges, this is vital as they need tasting in every bite and the sauce does not soak into the bread.

Breakie 3

Once everything is cramped on, then, and only then should the potato thingy’s be placed at very good angles. If you get problems use the mathematical formula BODMAS.

Breakie 4

When slicing, the knife needs to be sharp as fuck, otherwise the cut just does not go smooth and the internal gets savagely town, which makes it a dreadful scene.

Breakie 5

By now the coffee will have cooled enough so it can be sipped between each mouthful. This is an important task as the balance of the breakfast sarnie needs to be in proportion to the amount of coffee sipped. A miss calculation can be a disaster.

Breakie 6

Many times I get asked if the plate should be licked, it’s a difficult decision, if the fknife wasn’t sharp enough then by all means get some licking done, otherwise just sit and stare at the plate and give yourself a pat on your tummy.

Breakie 7

Mission accomplished, shhh…

How to eat a tin of encore shrimp and tuna cat food made easy

Does this really need much explaining? Because they were on offer, I accidently ended up ordering and purchasing cat food! The price was buy five for the price of three. I thought it was a bargain buy, though I did think they were tins of shrimp. Is Encore cat food fit for human consumption…

How to make a healthy sandwich made really cheap and easy

We know the score? Can not be bothered making a cheap yet decent healthy sandwich early Monday morning, its been a long lazy weekend, too many takeaways and booze – yet? ah ha, but some of us do – now and again, make a healthy sarny?! But when we don’t, we end up with a Marks & Spencer, or Boots, or Subway, or another ‘outlet’ expensive sandwich, but boy do they cost too much? So here we have a really cheap way of putting together a healthy yet cheap sandwich. Ingredients purchased can cover these sandwiches for about three days, for me the lettice type leafs can be soggy, really soggy, oh… Proper ingredients; turkey slices, red onion, crunchy mixed salad and cucumber, mixed bread caked with tons of butter.

Sandwich 1
Ok and here we missed me chopping up the ingredients, and as can be seen, placed on the turkey slices are the red onions, perfectly cut too thick – brilliant for that hangover, mixed crunchy salad, cucumber and a good squirt of, erm, its so hard to spell, not going to spell check and so, erm, mayonarse.

Sandwich 2
As can be seen the sandwich box appears too small, but believe me its a good size, I think the healthy sandwiches are filled too much, it can be done, four really can fit into one, that there plastic box.

Sandwich 3
Just look at that, perfect, took a little sitting on, you know, like when we have clothes that need to fit in the suitecase? that sounds like sweetcase? yes I mean suitcase now get off my back…!

Sandwich 4
It has not been mentioned but, I was asked how I perform this marvel, really! Sunday night, put them in the fridge, with the freezer thingy’s in the freezer, and next moaning (it’s Monday don’t forget!?) put the sandwich box on top of the frozen blue thing, make sure the sandwiches are still in the box, as when intoxicated they get eaten during the night – unsure by who?

Sandwich 5
Just look at how proper fresh they still are at 13:30 hrs, oh, its on the train home. For you guys the hangover will be so strong you will make an excuse to leave work early (not me silly, erm), yet those super healthy refreshing sandwiches do the trick – but the ticket lady caught me with my mouth full, I almost sprayed her with some crunched salad and mayonarse, yet thankfully it weren’t a cream pie…

Adsense will implode

Or maybe it wont? Early 2012 I uploaded to YouTube a video – Sarcoid, this is a song about my condition – Sarcoidosis. It took two weeks to prove the song is in-fact mine and I own all the rights to it, unsure why they did not believe me, it was a chap ‘David’ I communicated with from Google UK.

During that time I decided to upload quite a few videos on allsorts of articles; advice, how to, poems, music, reviews etc. Then, at the end of April, and after five years or so with them, AdSense banned me, I gather quite a few viewers of this post have had the similar email ‘Invalid Activity’ report, huh?

Upon my uploading of videos I kept in contact with this David, he assured me I was OK and nothing was wrong, I had allowed adverts on all videos that were allowed without copyright infringement. Yet AdSense came back stating I had violated their terms and conditions, jeez, I was gutted, I felt like a fraudulent criminal, yes, not a real one at all!

After appealing, and letting them know I had created an introduction video to my channel with the idea of not to advertise on the intro, I hoped they would see that my song Sarcoid is indeed all mine, and I only put adverts onto original videos that I created, nope, appeal turned down.

You might wonder why I left it all this time? I finally decided to try some other channels, a little different with Chitika.com and B4PSAds.com and will see?

How to use a banana that helps save even more

I had a £1 voucher off if I spent more then £10 at Morrison’s local in Ilkley, these bottles of Cava were offered at a £4.99 saving £3 per bottle, took me to £9.98 so I got a 12pence banana, I felt I had to explain myself…

And so I get another voucher to save £1.30 if I spend £13 or more.

Christmas break 2012

One thing is for sure, the short working week allowed me to catch up on a fair few on-line surveys, yet another in-depth article that I will be writing about; how to earn through on-line surveys, these can get you a good amount of vouchers for the sales, but certainly not make a living!

To hate or hug, that is the question

And so at very late notice I thankfully decided to go to Jacob’s 18th party, a friend Elvis (he used to have the hair and stuff!) went with me as he knew I can get quite anxious in the presence of my ex wife. So I have decided to keep this post short rather than my typical hate the system crap, well, I am disappointed in the system as regards illness and dads rights.

So many folks have mentioned why have I never hated the ex wife etc. yeah over the years it (the system) has contributed to making me ill, but to be straight to the point, Iv never hated her, very annoyed at how it ended but…

I needed to overcome this, the courage to go shake her hand was immense, the following hug was more, I think an understanding is there, I feel released, I hope to live a long time and try to ignore sarcoid as much as possible, not only that, but knowing I don’t hate the other person that helped create my two fantastic sons is something I feel very good about, too many negatives are on this planet.


Look how that sun shines, im very content yes.

Preparing for that new job

Its finally here, I get up in the morning to go to work, what a two and years its been, still not where I would like to be but a job is certainly a brilliant step in the right direction. Remploy and my JSA disability advisor have been great, too much to right at the moment but it will make a very worthy blog about working and being a sarcoid, a rare one in ten sarcoid at that.


One of the first things I needed to do was to make sure I have some reassuring help to keep at work; meds in-case I forget to take them at home, box of tissues, packet of wetwipes for if I need to freshen up after a sarcoid smelly sweat attack, heel supports for my ankles, nail file – I know but sometimes my nails go stupidly brittle and simply snap off, miniature mouthwash for that metallic taste I can get, and a miniature lynx for the future, erm, if I do think of anything else then I will get.


My advisor has been so helpful, here I have been able to get geared up for an office environment, all new direction for me, thing is, I do hope the shirts are appropriate, trousers are great but I wanted the shirts to allow me to some degree be me, oh, erm, maybe not as trendy as I think, or maybe I will make the clothing appear un-trendy ha… My intention is to leave one or two shirts at work, maybe T-shirts too?


The all important ironing, im not actually too bad with an iron, although seven shirts took me close on one hour, but saying that I was cooking as well, talk about multi-tasking, the future wife will love it! Well I must crack on and get my sandwiches put up, and stop panicking, and set my alarm, was I even got an alarm today as I don’t trust my phone to do the business every day, now what else?

Felix Baumgartner jumps from edge of space

How to jump from the edge of space. Wow, just watched that jump from the edge of space, Felix you top dude, when he were stood on the edge of the capsule I almost got motion sickness watching it!!! Top marks, brilliant, and how insane some folks are eh.

Watch the jump here.