I forgot to mention, went to the Monday night folk sessions at the Swan, though im not a folk type musician it ended up being quite a good night, played five songs though I really must practice and get the fingers and vocals up to scratch! will attend again. Nice comments too thanks!
Author: Stuart
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A shadow within
A shadow of former self, thats how it sometimes feels.
Today they have started me on Fluoxetine with a referral back for counselling, we know Pred can play mind games but with some of the memories those games can be made much worse. I often wonder what it would have been like to have a really nice genuine woman to help me when its really tough, I’ll never know.The medics at times seem more concerned that I live alone, I avoid local music jam nights as I will probably get known as the village idiot even though im good ‘Stu’s a fucked up bundle of fun’.
Today my court stuff gets sent to the higher tier, will publish MPs letter later as at least its confirmed he has taken my case on. My fight of getting sorted carries on, getting my bankruptcy discharge was a relief but also a memory of everything I lost, as mentioned before, mainly through no fault of my own.
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Atos, ESA and the failed system
I now have an appointment with my MP Kris Hopkins on Fri morning 13th July, we know the law has not been broken so its going to be a huge matter of principle that the ‘system’ seems to not recognise sarcoidosis, I will be writing an in-depth article on my experience of trying to get help from the benefits system while I was at my worse, which we know the system failed me. Thankfully I appear to be improving even quicker – we think? and my search for appropriate employment will deepen.
All I am after is a system which is fairer to those that can be quite seriously ill but with potential to recover, sarcoidosis is not covered like many other mainstream illnesses, if you put cancer, crohn’s disease, diabetes, and numerous other serious conditions into an illness mixture, what then gets poured out is sarcoidosis, the system fails us big time… -
Seems a little rain keeps pouring down!
In this 2012 July, its just after June but also before August, well it seems we keep having some drizzle, I captured a some of the drops before they stopped…
Here we can see the rain crashing through the sun, yes, some amazing thoughts that the sun was actually shining, hmmm.
As I was looking to catch a walk, well, it started, this has been some of the heaviest rain I have seen while been at Low Mill village. -
A mindful poem
Demons appear without any warning
They stare at me like in mourning
All those noises are silently heard
Much preferring the early singing birdTry my bike knowing I can’t play
Best go for a walk looking for Rose’
Keeping active is such a cover up
Look at Stu he’s such a crazy nutOn a guitar is it just a show
Me myself and I, we say no
27th July 1964
Until when, I don’t fucking knowStay away
Free my day
Talk to me
Let me freeToday is again, it’s just a gain.
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The View
Volume 11 live at Delius Bradford, this original track is simply brilliant, a young band simply going through the learning process to bigger better things, keep it going guys…
http://youtu.be/E0yejVmqWpw
And a great version of Take Me Out;
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To be a Teenager
Early years and teenage times, but at what point do I mention those times – now! I started hanging around with teenagers when I was about 5-6 years old, running with those guys and missing a turning and falling what seemed like 6’ onto the old railway tracks, amazingly I landed on a mattress, they came back and I can remember them saying “he’s not moving is he ok?” I opened my eyes and up and off we went – I had fallen some way over the wall and landed on a mattress… I so wanted to be a teenager!
Continue reading ‘To be a Teenager‘.